Teens Unite Fighting Cancer supports teenagers and young adults living with cancer and its lasting effects. Roxanne Lawrance, CEO, explains how it aims to create a community so patients can support each other as they begin to rebuild their lives.
Over the past few years, I believe we’ve all gained a better idea of what ‘community’ means, and the good that can come of it. At a time of anxiety, loneliness and isolation, we were all in it together. We were adapting to a new, unexpected way of living, with all control and decisions taken away from us. The crucial difference between this, and the experience of a young person facing cancer, is that we all felt the same, and were all in the same boat. For young cancer patients, it’s easy to feel like they’re the only one in the world going through what they are.
Following cancer treatment, many young people will experience loneliness, anxiety and depression and some will lose contact with their friends. That’s why at Teens Unite, our focus is to bring young people together, so they’re not alone during the most difficult of times. We’re a community where everyone understands what each other is going through.
Our activities take place both face-to-face and digitally. They’re designed to be fun, enjoyable experiences to look forward to, but it goes much further than that. What the activities provide is the opportunity to find new friendships and confide in each other in a way they might not feel able to with many people. There’s no pressure – they can talk about their cancer if they want to and if they don’t, then that’s fine, too. What’s important is that they feel supported by us and each other, and they have a place they can turn to when they need it.
The effects of cancer are long-lasting, and our support is often needed more after treatment ends. There’s an expectation that life will simply return to ‘normal’, yet this is rarely the case. Life after cancer can change significantly. There’s the missed time from work and education, the coming to terms with physical changes, and the effect cancer can have on emotional wellbeing. The young people we support often feel excluded from the groups they were once in, and now need a new place of belonging.
The activities we organise and our stays away from home help them regain independence, and give them the confidence, reassurance and skills needed to start rebuilding their lives. With the support of the Teens Unite community, they can look forward to taking the next steps. Everyone is at a different stage of their cancer, some may be recently diagnosed, whereas others may be years into remission, or learning to live with incurable cancer, but everyone encourages, supports and inspires each other.
Mikhaila’s story
In 2015, I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma, which certainly wasn’t part of my plan as a 19-year-old. I was too distracted by school, university applications and my social life that I didn’t pay much attention to the red dot on my thigh, which eventually morphed into an itchy, warttype ‘thingamajig’ that I couldn’t ignore. Fortunately, I took the steps to get it removed.
I knew the official diagnosis wouldn’t be ‘thingamajig’, but I was certain that whatever box it ticked, it wouldn’t be anything sinister and the GP agreed on the grounds that I was ‘too young for cancer’. It was removed at my GP’s surgery, and I thought that was that.
But, three weeks later, I got a call telling me it was melanoma. I knew that was bad, but I didn’t grasp just how bad until I was referred to consultants at St George’s Hospital’s melanoma clinic. My first appointment marked my enrolment into a club that no one wants to be a part of.
I had surgery to determine if my cancer had spread, and I was optimistic that all would be well… but it wasn’t. It had spread to my lymph nodes, and my heart sank at the thought of going back under the knife, but this time for a more invasive operation with a much longer recovery.
It was a painful time, both physically and mentally. I was grieving for the loss of my old self and my attempts to find the support I needed were unsuccessful.
When I found out I was in remission, I was over the moon, but I quickly felt the anti-climax when I returned to school. How could I be sat in class or be out with friends, and act as if all was normal? I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, with her whole life turned upside down, swept up and then spat back out into a different world.
Now that my physical health was on the mend, I was desperate to ease the emotional toll. Fortunately, it was at this point that I heard about Teens Unite and was welcomed by a kind voice on the end of the phone. They told me about all the amazing activities I could attend, and the other young people I’d meet. It was what I’d been searching for.
I attended Teens Unite’s Activity Stay - five busy days of activities with others my age, all at different stages of their cancer journeys. None of us wanted to leave, and I couldn’t wait to do more with Teens Unite.
The community I’ve found in Teens Unite has been my silver lining. We have a group chat, filled with birthday messages, words of encouragement when needed, and questions like ‘who’s attending the Teens Unite quiz this week?’ or ‘does anyone know of any good travel insurance providers?’.
We really are like a family and I met one of my best friends through Teens Unite. It’s funny how things turn out, how a community can give you the support and comfort you need, and then give you more than you could ever have hoped for.
Nearly seven years on, I’ve got my degree, have a job I love and any support I need, I get from my ‘cancer chums’. I’ll always spread the word about the good that comes from being with others who get what you’re going through, so that no one feels helpless, lonely, or in need of support that they can’t find elsewhere.
In our darkest hours, having people by our side isn’t just a want, but a need. This community is the light that guides us and, if you find the right one, everything is a little brighter.
Teens Unite’s support is accessible to 13–24-year-olds, no matter how long it’s been since they were diagnosed, and the activities range from:
• Yoga and meditation
• Arts and crafts
• Baking and cookery classes
• Theatre visits
• Stadium tours
• Outdoor activities including archery and rock climbing
• Online gaming and quizzes
• Beauty and skincare sessions
• Career development an life coaching opportunities
For further information and to sign up visit the Teens Unite website or email teens@teensunite.org
From Contact magazine issue 97 - Winter 2022
