I was just 16 years old when, to save my life, I had my right leg amputated above the knee due to osteosarcoma. Before my diagnosis, I’d been getting pain in my knee which increasingly worsened for about three months. My grandma said that I should go to the doctors, which I’d never thought about as I thought the pain would just go away by itself. The doctor felt my knee and said he thought it was a sprain and told me to keep taking painkillers. So, that’s what I did. A few weeks passed, and it had got to the point where the painkillers weren’t doing anything.
Coincidentally, my brother was seeing a physio for a sports injury at the time, so Mum took me along. At the end of his appointment, she asked if the physio could have a quick look. He knew straight away that something wasn’t right and booked me in for an appointment. I saw him a few times over the next few weeks. He first thought a growth spurt had meant my knee had turned inwards, so I started wearing insoles. But one particular evening he sat me down and felt my knee, which was warm. He looked shocked, like something had clicked in his mind. He told Mum that I needed a private MRI scan, and luckily, he had contacts that got me booked in the next day.
My family and friends helped me so much. They wanted to do as much as they could to give me fun and enjoyment along the way. Having things to look forward to and setting a bucket list for when I finished my treatment really helped me.
Halfway through the scan, I was taken out of the machine. I was sat back in the waiting room, before being asked if I’d ever had surgery on my knee, which I hadn’t. The following day, on her birthday, Mum took a call which would change our lives for ever. Not only were we told I had cancer, but I’d also lose a year out of my life and might need my leg amputated. It was all too much. I had so many questions, and that night I didn’t sleep a wink. I’ll remember it for as long as I live.
Everything moved so quickly
From then on, it was all a whirlwind. We were sent to Birmingham Orthopaedic Hospital a week later, where they took a biopsy from my leg. I was given crutches to use, and they told me I was going to receive some very strong chemotherapy in the coming weeks and lose my hair. Arriving in Leeds for my treatment, I was terrified. I’d seen young people on TV with cancer but that was never supposed to be me. The chemotherapy hit me harder than I ever thought was possible. I was losing my hair within a week, I was sick to the point where I couldn’t keep anything down, any slight smell turned my stomach, and I was tired and weak. As time went on, I was receiving regular blood transfusions, platelets, intravenous antibiotics and a feeding tube inserted up my nose. It was really tough, and I was counting down the weeks to the end of treatment.
What helped me during treatment
My family and friends helped me so much. They wanted to do as much as they could to give me fun and enjoyment along the way. Having things to look forward to and setting a bucket list for when I finished my treatment really helped me and allowed me to picture a life after it. We also had a youth support coordinator on our ward, who used to get me out of bed and into the day room for daily activities. At first, feeling shy, I didn’t want to join in. But once I did, it really changed my hospital experience. I was able to meet other young people and keep my mind occupied.
I had some very good nurses and doctors, like Dr Bob Phillips (Contact’s Medical Adviser), who always knew how to cheer me up and put a smile on my face! I received support from many charities, but one that stands out is Project Youth Cancer, which used to be known as The Laura Crane Youth Cancer Trust. I remember receiving a mountain of presents from them on Christmas day, which was very special. They also provided laptops for patients in hospital so that we could stay in touch with our friends at home, which meant we didn’t feel as isolated. I went on to volunteer for them before becoming an ambassador, and more recently, a trustee.
How I came to accept and embrace my amputation
About three months into treatment, I was told that I’d need my leg amputating, which I initially refused. I couldn’t imagine life with one leg. How could I? However, my specialist nurse and social worker helped me think again. I wanted to live, so I didn’t have a choice. I initially felt less poorly straight after surgery as the cancer that was taking all my energy had gone out of my body. I wouldn’t look at my leg, though. I couldn’t face it at first.
But, over time, my new body became more familiar. I was introduced to my first prosthetic leg and when I put it on, I felt like I had a full body again.
It’s been a long journey since then, full of ups and downs. I was on crutches for a long time, until I built up my confidence and finished treatment. I’ve found out over time that having a good fitting leg makes being an amputee a lot easier. When it’s not fitting, the sores and the pain can be unbearable. However, I’ve achieved and done so much thanks to having a prosthetic leg that I could no way have done without it!
I used to be really self-conscious about my prosthetic. At first, being so young and low in confidence, I even felt ashamed. But a couple of years later I went to an event called LimbPower, unsure of what to expect. There were around 200 other amputees there, and I was the only one covering my leg up. I had foam around it to make it look like a real leg and jeans to cover it. The event made me question what I was doing, and I realised I should be proud of what I’ve been through, and definitely not ashamed! From that day on, I learnt to embrace my disability and to champion it.
I’m proud of everything I’ve done
Since finishing treatment, I’ve done so many things that I’d never even imagined I’d ever do! I’ve modelled for River Island, Adidas, Amazon and Primark and I’ve even featured in Italian Vogue. I’ve featured on BBC’s ‘Sewing Bee’ as a model, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I also met Phil, my boyfriend of seven years, on Channel 4’s ‘First Dates’. We then bought a campervan together and travelled Europe!
Being an ambassador for Project Youth Cancer means I’ve jumped from planes, taken part in charity bike rides and become confident in public speaking. I’ve spoken in front of numerous professionals, at universities, colleges, schools, charity and business events, which I’m very proud of. It’s something I’d never have done before treatment.
I feel richer in life for going through what I have. I’ve learnt to appreciate the small things and the finer details, as well as to cherish time with family and friends. I’m very grateful for every day and even though I’ve come out of the other side of treatment with a new disability, I feel so lucky to be alive, and want to make the most of it! I’m currently expecting my first child, and I didn’t think that would be possible. Life, and our health, shouldn’t be taken for granted. We only get one shot at it, so I want to take every opportunity to enjoy every minute.
From Contact magazine issue 105 | Winter 2024
