S’aad was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia with few warning signs. There was some tiredness, and he was pale in colour, but the limping became a cause of concern, which made us contact 111. From then on, tests were done after persistently asking for further investigation.
After his diagnosis, S’aad began 12 weeks of intense treatment, and thereafter had oral chemo daily and weekly visits to the hospital for various medications and interventions. While in hospital with him for those first few months, I was eager to make a positive difference through such a challenging time, so I had an idea to write a children’s book.
I just started writing whilst he was sleeping and thought, "I actually enjoy this." When I was figuring out which direction to take the book, I realised S’aad had really big, wild, curly hair. Everyone knew him because of his hair and would stop us to say his hair was gorgeous. It was his prized possession, but he’d lost it through chemo treatment. So, I wanted to teach young children that despite physical differences, you can have a voice, or a roar, just as loud as your friends and that each child is still so special. This is why the book’s premise follows a lion cub who loses his big, wild mane after developing leukaemia, but shows bravery to continue being himself and not let his illness get him down.
S’aad’s brother, Adam, who was four at the time, was asking, "What’s going on?" and "Why has he lost his hair?" I was trying to explain to him and initially he was quite surprised because it all came off in one very short period. Trying to explain to a four-year-old what was going on, it made me think there must be a lot of parents out there who are feeling the same as what I was feeling. I wanted to help them, and their children, too.
I never imagined myself writing a children’s book. But having been hit by our child having cancer and through the long days at hospital, it gave me something to focus on. And, at a time when you’re going through something like that, having something to focus on is really important.
S’aad would sleep a lot after his treatments and it gave me a purpose. It allowed me to feel like I was doing something positive and constructive through a challenging time and to hopefully make my boys proud one dayof how, as a mother, I handled such a hard time in our lives.
While the book is about my own and my son’s experiences, I also wanted it to empower children to be themselves and not let other people dictate their image. I think in a society where children have that pressure, I wanted this book to really empower young children to feel that they’ve got a voice in the world and they’re special, even if they look different. Not only through illness, they might just look different. I hope this book makes them feel like they can still be them and empower them to embrace who they are.
S’aad is now five and is doing great. He’s in reception at school and is thriving emotionally and socially and is completely and utterly obsessed with dinosaurs. If I could offer any advice to other families, it’s to take one day at a time, and there’s no right or wrong way to handle this journey that you’re on.
‘The Cub Without a Mane’ is available to buy on Amazon either as an e-book or physical copy.
From Contact magazine issue 105 | Winter 2024
